Thursday, April 8, 2010

It's Either Her or Me Review and Giveaway

Back in November I wrote a post titled Relationship A and shared some insight on the relationship I have with my mother in law.

In the post I concluded that I needed to take a step back and allow my husband, her son, to take a hold of the reins.

Since then our relationship has been less strained, maybe a little more open but definitely less complicated.

In her latest book, Ellie Slott Fisher addresses the dynamic of Mom and daughter in law along with the dynamic of other relationships, such as sons, sisters, wives, girlfriends, husbands, and brothers.

It's Either Her Or Me: 
A guide to help a Mom and Her Daughter-in-Law Get Along 

I read this book mainly from a perspective of a daughter in law but since I have two sons of my own...the chapters on being a mother to boys also caught my attention. Before I knew it I was imagining the future and them asking me where their girlfriends should sleep during "sleep overs" should they bring their girlfriends home for the weekend.  I was reeling.  I can't even imagine it happening.

At the end of each chapter there are keepsakes to state the key points of the chapter.  I found myself reading them more then once and really thinking about them.

Here are a few that really stuck with me

- A Mother in law may be difficult to love, but in some way, no matter how small, the man you love reflects her.
- A mother wants someone who will make her son happy.  A girlfriend/wife just wants her to recognize that she does.
- Sons and boyfriends should never avoid the melee, especially since they're at the center of it.
- If necessary, a man has to consider the concerns of both women, and act as a mediator.
- Grandparents do not assume the role of parent-unless expressly asked to do so by their son and his wife
- A woman you view as a difficult mother in law may very well be viewed by your children as a
loving Grandma.  And that is something for which to be truly grateful. 

Don't think this book is for just the mom or the girlfriends/wives...There's a whole chapter about the son/husband and what his role in all of this is.  He needs to be involved and he needs to have open communication with both women.

So, it's okay to tell him to get his head out of the sand.  (Ahem, be nice)

Based on research and interviews Ellie covers a range of relationships and this book is definitely not just a guide on how to survive a relationship you may feel is doomed.  There's some great tips in there and a different perspective which is a wonderful thing to gain when you're feeling you're at your wits end.

This book offers practical situations that you can apply to any relationship and Ellie does it all with a sense of humor.  It was an enjoyable read, a valuable tool and I'll probably be pulling it back down from the bookcase over the next 18 years.

Are you in a strained relationship?
Do you and your in-laws get along?
Are you a man who needs to regain control over the two most important women in your life? (lol)

You should get yourself a copy of this book

Lucky lucky you!!  I have a copy to give away for free.

Mandatory Entry - that means you MUST answer this question in a comment in order to be entered.

If you won this book would you keep it for yourself or give it away?  Why?

Extra entries can be achieved by doing any or all of the following:

Be or become a follower of Kerri's Klutter (If you already follow just say "already follow".  New followers say "I now follow".)

Subscribe to Ellie's blog  (Leave a comment so I can verify)

Become a fan of Ellie on Facebook (Leave a comment so I can verify)

If you're not the lucky winner copies of the book can be purchased on for the sale price of $11.25. 

Ellie has also written: Mom, There's A Man In the Kitchen And He's Wearing Your Robe: The Single Mother's Guide to Dating Well without Parenting Poorly 
Dating for Dads: The Single Father's Guide to Dating Well without Parenting Poorly.

Giveaway will end on Sunday April 18th at 8:00 pm EST and the winner will be randomly chosen and announced on Monday April 19th

Disclaimer: I received this book free to review from Random House through Business 2 Blogger. The winner of the giveaway will be mailed their copy directly from Random House. No monetary compensation received.


Melissa said...

I'd keep it. Sounds like it contains a lot of practical advice, and who couldn't benefit from that?!

Melissa said...

I follow your blog! :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I would keep it, because believe me I NEED IT! lol

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I follow your blog :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

I'm following her blog now and I left a comment here:

My Mercurial Nature said...

I would most definitely keep it (and if I don't win, I'll be picking it up myself). My constant struggles with my MIL cause SOOOO much stress for my husband and this book sounds helpful! (plus, I'm a mom to boys and I don't want to be a hated MIL someday)

Ian said...

If I win, I will give it away in a Friday challenge.

So when do I win?

Shell said...

Don't enter me- I have to finish reading this and do my own giveaway. :)

Daisygirl said...

Wow this is seriously something every wife and mother in law need! Great giveaway! I would read it first and then pass it to my mother in law to read!

Daisygirl said...

I follow your blog!

erica said...

i follow you.. ooh look out.. lmao

erica said...

if i won the book, first i would read it, then i would pass it on.. hopefully i could get mom to read it (most likely not) maybe carl lee (he would if it meant enough to me) possibly his mother.. i would definitely share the book.. just like the three cups book.. =) here's to hoping i win, or i'll just have to borrow yours.. lol

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Don't enter me.

My MIL and I get along great!

Loved your email today!

Mom(Marsh) said...

I follow

Mom(Marsh) said...

If I won I would definately read it and maybe then would pass it on to someone else.

Aphrodite's Mortal Friend (ME) said...

AllI can say is this- IF you are familiar with Sex in the City ... and you remember Bunny- well, my MIL is FOR REAL named Bunny- and she is a spittin image ... the family jewels are great but GEESH the rest sucks!

Letherton said...

I stumbled across your blog and wanted to say hi.
Take a minute an check my blog out
I have lots of great giveaways going on.
Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

New follower from Mama M!

Angie said...

I would read it and then pass it on!

I am a wife and a mom to 2 boys... any help in that area is welcome!

Angie said...

I follow you!

Tracy said...

I would have to keep this for myself. Not that I have issues w/ my MIL- Nope! not me....

Tracy said...

New follower!!

Love your blog!

Steph said...

I'm a new follower...found you through Ian.

I would read it and then pass along to my MIL. I have been blessed to have had one GREAT MIL in my life from my 1st marriage...phenomenal woman who was died far too young. I miss her everyday. My soon to be MIL and I don't quite see eye-to-eye. I agree with your acceptance of "it is what it is" although I hope for better that what we have...for my fiance's sake.

Glad I found you.

Bobbi said...

I would read it and then pass it along. I typically do that with all the books I read. I love gaining knowledge and then sharing.

Crystal and Co said...

Awesome review, Kerri!

If I won this book, I would want you to choose another reader because I already have a copy, but I will say it is a MUST read for anyone who is a mom to boys or soon to be a daughter in law!

I have five boys and it is hard to know someday I will have to give them over to some gal who may not like me. But my boys' happiness is always a prioroty, so I will put my big girl panties on and manage to accept that I will need to take the back seat.

Hope you'll check out my review as well... from the eyes of a mom of all boys.