Saturday, April 17, 2010

Update your reader, blog roll, etc....pleasepleaseprettyplease


I really don't know if there is an easier way to do this or not...I'm working on finding out...

But for those of you who don't mind doing it this way

and making sure your reader gets updated with the correct site

please do the following!!

Go to

Sign in to use Blogger using your normal sign in name and password

You are then at your Blogger dashboard

If you follow more then one blog you will see them listed here.  Scroll down till you see the Manage button at the bottom of reading list

Click on the Manage blogs I'm Following button

Find Kerri's Klutter and click on settings off to the right

Click the Stop following this site

It will make sure you are sure by asking Are you sure?

Click Stop following

Refresh your screen

Then Go to

Off on the right side, down a little bit you'll see the headline "Join the Mess" Click on the follow button

Then confirm and Follow

Now you are following the correct blog....and you won't miss a thing!! 

I tried to make it read as easy as possible.  I have some friends and family who know very little about this blogging thing.  I'm trying to make sure they "get it"

Fingers crossed I don't lose too many followers from here to there................



Eliza showed up this morning
and said
"It's time"

and by the time
I finished
my English Muffin
and coffee 

was all moved in

So, update your links to be taken there 
instead of

And bare with me
as I unpack my boxes
and get used to the place....

Oh, and Jb - 
you left a comment on Saturday Share
could you leave another at the new place?
and please leave me a link to your blog...I can't seem to find you.

Ok, so go now to

and let me know what you think!!

I think it's FAB 
and so very totally


Saturday Share

Today is Saturday Share.

A weekly post about us, what we've been up and pictures
to fill in the blanks.
(Saturday Share tends be a fairly long post...sit back and enjoy)
This week started things back to normal.  After no school for Jacek for a two weeks he about flew inside the class room the second the teacher opened the door.  He emerged like a blur for 3 seconds to say "Oh yeah, oops...I love you Mommy" and he was gone again.  I was glad to see the feeling of "being cooped up together too long" was reciprocated.  It sure does help the Mommy guilt of wanting him to go back to school. 
As I mentioned yesterday very briefly, we got the letter from the school accepting Jacek into their Universal Pre-K Program (UPK) come September.  It is a FULL day, 5 day a week pre-school.  He'll be riding the bus, going to gym, music class, and doing lots of fun great wonderful stuff with Mommy.  I am so happy for him and I'm trying to relish in that right now.  I'll worry about all my sobbing and wet pajama tops come September.  

Aidan is getting big and taller, it seems, everyday.  I've been working with him about the potty.  We started Jacek at about 20 months so he's right on track.  He GETS it but has had no success yet.  Yesterday, as I've been nagging the poor kid all week he told me he had a poopy diaper. In his little chinese language (which I totally should capture on video and post before it goes away altogether) he said, "Mabee, I have poopy".  Then Jacek was jumping up and down, apparently just as excited as I was that his little brother had just clearly and undeinabley grew a little bit more little boyish right before our very eyes.  Way to go AIDAN!!
The day that Jacek got his acceptance letter in the mail his DADDY got his very own acceptance letter.  Darren was accepted into the State College of Brockport for the Fall Semester 2010.  He is thrilled and hopefully, I sure his is but he doesn't let on, very PROUD.  He's been hemming and hawing on this for years.  He now has the road open to leads him to accomplishing his goals.  So two of my boys are going to school this fall.
And Aidan and I...heck...we're gonna be whopping up this town.  

On Wednesday night Darren had a flat tire, luckily he noticed it while he was still at the schools parking lot.  Have I ever mentioned he works at a local college here?  Oh, sorry if I haven't...he does.  The whole flat tire thing showed me that both Darren and I are both working on US and our patience and learning what is important and what is not so much.
The Kerri and Darren show of the past would have been a bit cluttered, choosing not so nice words to convey our disgust and frustration over the situation BUT you know what the Kerri and Darren show of the here and now did?  We were calm, cool, and pretty smart and sexy too.  We both went with the flow, adjusted our schedules where needed and we just did what had to be done.  

I'm proud of us.  We've come a long way.  And it's when this crap happens that I'm reminded that the choices I've made, no matter how hard or wrong they may have seemed at the time, were definitely the right ones!!

I am doing well.  I successfully had my tooth yanked yesterday.  The experience wasn't all bad but it still sucked.  The nitrous gas was awesome.  Wow, did it feel good.  I took one pain pill last night and slept great.  I'm swollen and the right side of my mouth is very tender which kinda causes me to drool and that's not very hot. It's just not.  I'm calling out of work today.  I'm supposed to answer the phones and since that would be pretty difficult I'm taking a day to hang with the boys.  They don't mind so much if I drool.
Oh, almost forgot to mention (shame on me) that I am 
If you're stopping by from over there, HELLO and THANKS!!
I'm gonna post a picture.  In it you'll see a rather large pile of clothes.  
Let's see if you can guess why I cried over this pile not once but two times in the last week.

I will update later with the reason

 So, that was a little bit of our week.  How was yours?

If you're new to Kerri's Klutter
thanks for checking it out.
Please leave me a comment so I can come and visit YOU too.
Comments are awesome....almost as good as having all your teeth and not having to drink your meals with a straw.
Thanks for stopping by!!  Have a wonderful Saturday.  Ta.  Ta.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Friday Fragments and Follow

Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth.

Have you ever taken 10 minutes and browsed through your SPAM email folder?  Here's a few I've received recently....

Rob and Karen Spam sent me the following email:
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable to lose weight no matter how hard you try.  First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
So, it's not my fault that I eat cheese puff after cheese puff at 10 o'clock at night and then go to bed resulting in instant weight gain?  That's the best news I've ever gotten!!  So, who's fault is it?

I also received this short and sweet email:
Forklifts at Unbeatable Prices - New and Used
I didn't even know I wanted a forklift but now I totally do.

And this email just had to be mentioned:
You're fired.  Earn money without constant effort.
I got fired by Spam. I'm unclear on what emotion to feel right now.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 
Yesterday I....

 ran 3.12 miles in 36 minutes

went to the doctors.  My blood pressure was 138/80.  What an improvement from 203/117.  Right?!? 

bought 3 lottery tickets and won NADDA.  That sucks.

signed up for a 5k next Sunday.

got the letter stating that my 4 year old son got accepted and will be attending a full day pre-k program next fall.  Now we must figure out what is best for everyone as far as me working on the weekends.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~   ~  ~

Today I....

am going for my reattempt tooth extraction.  I was instructed to take my blood pressure medicine and 2 Xanax.  I'm almost positive I'm gonna make a fool out of myself somehow.  I took 1 Xanax yesterday and felt like a zombie.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Ian suggested that I solicit questions about me, pertaining to me, etc. that my husband will answer from his perspective as a feature for a post during my 6 month blogging anniversary party(which is at the end of the month).  
So, please could you come up with some for him?  I'll be taking them from now until next Saturday the 24th.  
You can leave them in a comment here or email them to me at klynnski8 at gmail dot com.  If you prefer you can comment anonymously so I won't know who asked what.  It's up to you!

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Yesterday I attempted a "funny" post.  Quite a few readers told me they were rolling on the floor while reading it.  I always have a hard time with being funny...I've found that not a whole bunch of people "get my sense of humor" if you didn't have a chance to check it out yesterday I'd love it if you'd check it out and let me know what you think.  Be warned though, it's about sex toys and is titled "A Girl And Her Toys"

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Thanks for stopping by to check out
Kerris Klutter

I'm on a journey of sorts
learning how to write
honestly about EVERYTHING.

I've been blogging for just about 6 months
and I *think* 
I'm getting a hang of it.
Mother of 2 small boys
work part time on the weekends

Look around to find out more 
and please
enjoy the Klutter.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A Girl And Her Toys (Warning! Sex toy talk)

I got invited 
(by a Mom at playgroup)
to a pleasure party.

Pleasure party?

That's the politically correct term nowadays.

For those of us, non-hip nor PC people
we say Sex toy party 

I attended without a plus 1.
I went prepared to feel awkward in a room with 12 strangers
surrounded by latex, silicone and gadgets
but with an open mind as well.

The woman were drinking
a lot.

The person selling the toys was sweaty

a guy

and very openly over the top gay.
(How many times do you have to reference the fact that you're gay?  
I get it, we all get it...)

He was funny
 but became more funny rude as the party progressed.

He did well taking the attention away from 
the TOYS and putting it on himself.

Some of the women seemed to appreciate that


he also made jokes that were kind of inappropriate
(maybe I'm just old school)

For instance,

He commented on the size of one woman's breasts and continually addressed her as "titties" even after the initial joke had come and gone....
and he told a woman she would need a firming gel for her "va-jay-jay" because she had had 4 kids.  

They were noticeably insulted but
remained a lot calmer then say....
maybe I would have.
I was ready to take him down with a nice

Just sayin. 

After he asked me, 
"Are you just quiet or socially inept?"
I was thinking....


"I just don't really like you is all."
{{ glare}}

He retreated as he tried to figure out if I was joking or being serious.   

That's right biotch!  Suck it!

 The first 20 minutes were spent
drinking, pretending trying to socialize
and laughing at the host
as he set up his goods on the only available table...

A baby changing table.

He started with lubricants
which were passed around
and us ladies squirted little drops onto our hands.

A few ladies rubbed it elsewhere.

They were drinking.  A lot.

Then he brought out the rabbits.
(Warning!! Clicking on the above picture will take you to a sex toy site!)

The room of women grew very loud at this point.

My ears began to hurt. 
Squealing and cackling becomes very annoying very quickly.

The guy sharing his personal stories
about ramming and jacking and stroking
was becoming a bit too much for me.

To each their own but seriously

I just don't.

One guest asked the guy if he had brought any other "animals".
 Apparently she was looking to buy a dolphin.

"I only sell rabbits"

I mean duh, can you imagine how hard traveling with dolphins would be? 
With the large water tanks and all. 

The room quickly became littered with toys, 
rabbits, tubes of lubricants, a tongue
and a suctioned cupped purple dildo on the TV.

I am not against having fun with toys
but I'd rather avoid the hoopla next time.

The party was fun but a bit over done.

After all the crude stories and somewhat belligerent ranting about straight guys and how they all need delay cream

the guy announced he was going upstairs to discretely take orders.
Seriously?  Now, you're being discrete.

I sent a text to Darren.

Me: Can I spend a $100 on stuff?
Darren:  Uh no
Me:  So nothin then?
Darren:  A little not $100
Me: The cheapest rabbit is $58
Darren:  WTF...that's a lot..nothing cheaper? 20?

I laughed out loud.  I could feel the drunken stares burning into the back of my skull.

Me:  Um no
Darren:  I gotta say no.  That's your grill money.  I don't want to be a bummer but that's a lot.  U agree?

I did.
I want a red shiny gas grill a lot more then a rabbit.
But Darren wasn't done texting me yet.

Darren:  Any clearance vibes?

 I about fell out of my seat

Gotta love the way the man thinks..
Mr. bargain vibe shopper.

The only clearance vibe I'd use is the one I already have, the one that is free and wrapped up in the fancy package..
ya know, my husband.

I got home and googled the rabbit I had set my sights on.
Turns out some places get rabbits by the truckload
and sell them for $50 not $100.

So I can get my gold jack rabbit
 (Warning!  Clicking on the above picture will take you to's
listing for the Jack Rabbit Vibrator)

a red shiny gas grill.

How dare that guy try to sell me a $50 rabbit for $100?!?


You don't mess with a girl and her toys.  
You Just Don't.

**This post is not intended to insult or offend anyone.  This is my personal take on a pleasure party I attended recently.  The guy was a nice guy and I would recommend him as a host if a raunchier type party is what you're looking for**

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Run But I'm Not A Runner

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
                      -Mohandas Gandhi

I am short.
When I was in junior high I was over weight.
I was on the basketball team but apparently I wasn't very good.

I don't know why.  

Did I mention I was short and over weight?

I never liked to run. I dreaded gym class on warm days when I knew the teacher would make us go outside.  That meant jogging around the school grounds, that meant I would be out of breath and sweaty and LAST.  By the time I was in 9th grade there were a few of us.  We'd walk.  The teacher eventually stopped trying to make us, "lost causes" run.

After school running became obsolete unless I had to scurry across a cross walk or J walk across a busy intersection.
Or when it was raining.  I run pretty fast when it's raining.  
I amaze many with my quick dash --ya know--from the van to the entrance of Walmart.

Skill baby, skill. 
Barely a drop gets on me!

But what now?  What can I say about running now?

Last year I started running.  I wasn't running to run though.  I had an ulterior motive.
You see, I was running to get myself out of bed and out the door by myself.  No kids in tow, no lugging a diaper bag, no twenty return trips into the house...I was out the door, with the tunes cranking and I was by MYSELF.  

It was this little slice of bliss every morning that I couldn't wait to sink my fork into.
I mean seriously, by the end of the first month I C R A V E D it.

It wasn't running that gave me peace of mind
it was the quiet of the morning.  

It wasn't running that made me feel good
it was that I was doing something for myself.  

It wasn't running that made me sign up for a 5k and complete it
it was self efficacy. 

I've run a few times so far this spring each time faster and longer then the last.

If you ask me "Do you like to run?"  I'd still say no.  I'm not a runner. 

If you ask me

"Do you like a brief moment of clarity?  Do you like quiet mornings?
Do you like to watch the sun rise in all its beautiful glory and feel its warmth on your face before so many others get to enjoy it?
Do you like doing something for yourself?
Do you like to accomplish goals you thought would never be your goals to accomplish?"


I run but am I a runner?  
I hate to run.

Unless it's raining.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Comment-Love Letters

A fun and often hilarious way to show off the comment love received on the previous weeks posts.

All week while receiving comments to my posts I copy and paste each one into a word document, removing any spaces between the comments. On Sunday I start to cut and paste the comments together to make a letter or as close as I can get to a letter. I try really hard not to read through the whole thing until I'm completely done. The end result is pretty funny.

Welcome to Comment-Love Letters:
Dear Kerri @ Kerri’s Klutter

I'm a new follower...found you through Ian. I stumbled across your blog and wanted to say hi. Take a minute and check my blog out.  I have lots of great giveaways going on.  For the good of all humanity I tore apart like 100 Cadbury crème eggs. I mean I figured that it was the least I can do, right?

Oh what a joy to find out you're playing crash derby in the garage. THE exercise equipment in question was supposed to be utilized by you, now it's taking a trip to the dump..hmph! Sure could go for a jelly bean.... Ohhhh! Jelly beans! I forgot to have the Easter Bunny bring jelly beans!  I am a wife and a mom to 2 boys... any help in that area is welcome!

I would totally get a "lift" if we had the money. I've told DH as much, too. After nursing 4 babies there is almost nothing left. :(  Plus, I think bigger boobs would totally make my stomach look smaller.  Watch out when you are on the lookout for idiot things to happen they seem to hit ya all over the place. Been there, done that at Walmart with a go-zillion checkout lines and only a few are open resulting in long lines.   These always crack me up!

Told you that you'd run into the Carnival sooner or later! ;)  You throw a word out there like smuck and then dare not tell us what it's supposed to mean? The  Smuck is good!  I am just so happy to know that I am not the only one that ends up on the kitchen floor when they are over thinking all things mortal. And oh yeah I'm totally linking up next Wed or the following for the comment thing. I've been saving em up and notched another one today.

I am so happy to hear that the medicine is working and that you are feeling much better. I understand about feeingl like your readers are there for you more than your IRL friends. I have the same thing going on. Crazy but that's why I love to blog. Meeting people like you :)  You put the fun in FUNNER!

All RIGHT! You joined the party. Yeah!  Pass the cake and the chips please?  You got salsa and corn chips?  I would keep it, because believe me I NEED IT! Ha-ha you little 1st grade hussy! That is great!

Glad I found you.  I will see you tomorrow. Have a great day!


Your Biggest Fan

P.S. my word verification word right now is "fatties"...what are they trying to say...

This blog post was made possible by 
"comment-love leavers" like YOU! 

Did you spot your comment?  
Wanna join in on the fun?

Pull your comments from last week and put them together to form some sort of "sense."  
(Using "sense" real lightly here! )   
then link up below (linky will be open till Friday) so we can stop by and check out your 
Comment-Love Letter.