Today I have a family of my own. I am a wife and a Mommy.
and as I'm walking this path of self discovery - I'm learning that I'm many other things as well.
but today I want to focus on the things that come to mind as I sit here and think about my birthday.
When I think about my birthday I think about
my parents when they were young. I think about the excitement and the fear they must have felt being a young married couple beginning their life together. I think about them wanting a family and imagining what their future children would look like, act like, become.
To finally understand and relate to many of the things that seem mysterious to us as children...that my parents were just Butch and Diana before they were Dad and Mom is an enlightning moment.
I think about them now as the loving parents they have always been to me. Ever thankful and blessed by the universe for their presence still, their constant support, shared laughs, hugs, kisses, and strength.
I think about the house I grew up in. The room I kept. The memories that still live there. I think about the yard and my father on his tractor. I think about the mazes I made with my sister Kristen in the pasture.
I think about the years that have passed, my sisters and I changing and growing.
My sisters. My blood.
As different as we may seem we are of the same things.
I think about how my Mom always made 2 cakes for us on our birthdays. A regular birthday cake and the other what I called a sponge cake or Angel Food Cake, sprinkled with powdered sugar. I can still hear the beaters scraping the bottom of the mixing bowl as my Mom prepared the cakes while I was tucked in my bed. I remember smelling the sweetness drift up as they baked and feeling the butterflies in my stomach as I drifted off to sleep the night before my birthday. In my bedroom, with bluebird wallpaper. Safe.
I think of the birthday parties and the girlfriends I got to invite over. I think of all the pictures my Mom took over the years of me holding the cake up so she could take the picture and the frosting getting on my fingers. The pictures of us about to blow the candles out and then afterward licking the frosting off the bottom of the candles before placing them in the sink.
The parties changing from roller skating fun to even sillier ones at Chuck E Cheeses when I was 15 and continuing through senior year.
I think of my childhood friends. Most of which I know and talk with still. I made my friendships matter. Even if we don't talk much now nothing changes the impact they've had on my life and who I've become.
And my new friends that share with me the simple pleasures of every day life, every day struggles, accomplishing goals and surviving, I think of them.
She was by my side longer then any other significant other. Darren will tie that record in 3 years but until then Button wins by a long shot. She was my baby girl, my boogie. Kisses between the eyes baby girl. Always.
I think about the seven wonders of my life.
You amaze me. Every day. Every Second. I love you.
Happy HAPPY Birthday to me.