I love revisiting my childhood. I love that the memories still make me warm, still make me safe. I think it's because those things are still a part of who I am. I love that.
I went tonight to my niece and nephews holiday concert. Ashley is in chorus and plays the flute in band. Zackary rocks the drums.
I played the clarinet in band when I was their age. I liked being just one instrument and being part of something bigger at the same time. I loved that when we all played together this amazing calm came over me. I got that same feeling tonight listening and watching from the audience. Watching their young faces and seeing the proud faces of the parents and families in the audience made me nostalgic for my yesterdays.
I think one of the things I liked the most about playing in band was that I knew my Mom and Dad would be in the audience, my father clapping his hands the loudest. I remember straining to hear his distinct clap at the end of one of our sets. I could hear him as if he was standing right next to me. I can still hear him to this day.
Ashley's chorus sang "Where are you Christmas?" and I cried. I have heard the song many times before but when a group of 13 and 14 year old teenagers sing it, you really listen.
Tonight I went back in time. Tonight I revisited forgotten feelings and emotions. It was nice.
I was reminded of a few things that made me who I am today.
I love that even though I'm older and different then that 13 year old girl I was almost twenty years ago I am so very much the same.