I don't seem to process well without an immediate goal or task at hand. I am currently needing a big dose of self-efficacy.
I told Darren this morning that I think I'm going to focus on getting primer for the 3rd floor game room and start working on the room. We've been in a slow process of moving the boys playroom up from the 2nd floor to the 3rd floor. We've delayed because the 3rd floor is not heated and we don't currently have our space heater. It is out on loan but we expect to get it back soon and I will begin work. Hopefully.
I think my other issue right now is the stand still were in on a few other pretty big issues. I'm not a very patient person. I know it and admit it but at leat I try to work on it. We're waiting on the resoultion of our van and still waiting on the resoultion of our Mortgage Loan Modification. I am no fool and realize that even upon completion those frustrations will be replaced with something else but the fact that they are just looming so close overhead and the end is in sight but not yet achievable is a dreaded position to be in. (that was a huge sentence) I feel like I can't move forward. Hopefully those knots can be untied soon.
I finished Lisey's Story by Stephen King last night. It was wonderful. A great ending but it envoked vivid dreams. Pair that with the beginning of my own cold as well as the colds of my boys and you've got a very restless sleep. I am feeling it today.
T. I. R. E. D.
A lady I work with just brought me lunch from Burger King. It's the little things that really get me. How simple a gesture, how kind, how thoughtful?
She just brightend my day. Thank you Nancy. I ate every last nibble.
I didn't post last night. I watched "Worlds Greatest Dad" with Darren. I lost interest in the movie about halfway through but I still didn't feel like writing. I felt guilty, like I was letting myself down but I didn't feel like making myself write so I just didn't. This was also something that kept me in my fitfull sleep.
That, and the fact that my dreams contained family members who were midgets and kicking at the backs of my knees. Interesting how thoughts and feelings can be conveyed in our dreams. I don't have to look very far for the meaning of that dream.
Brings to mind the Chumbawamba song - I Get Knocked Down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
I wonder if anyone will bring me a chocolate milkshake. Yum.