Back in December 2009 I wrote a post titled, The 365 list. In short it was 3 things I want to work on this year, 6 things I want to do and 5 things to get rid of.
#2 on the list of things I want to work on this year was this:
Giving my husband more attention, hugs, kisses, praise, appreciation, touches, love.
So far I have done nothing more then the same. I feel bad. I know I kind of stink in this department.
I always tell my husband that it's not just one special effort that matters, it's the consistency behind numerous efforts that becomes recognized.
I should follow my own advice, I know.
Personally, I would rather have my husband being more attentive, nurturing, touching and loving 100 days out of the year then get over loaded on just one day, whether it be Valentines Day or our anniversary with gifts, flowers and other stuff that will litter the house.
Luckily, neither one of us puts too much emphasis on Valentines Day. We do a little more extra with our Anniversary but we're just not about all that. However, we really haven't been about all the little things either.
It bothers me.
I have all the ideas but just seem to lack the motivation/energy/oomph to implement them.
What does that say about me and my feelings toward our relationship?
I want to be the wife who leaves post it notes around the house, reaches for his hand while walking beside him, rubs his back without being asked and packs his lunch from time to time without huffing.
I want to be the wife who is daydreamed about because my husband can't quite figure me out. I want to be the wife who's husband never has to wonder if she's in to him still.
I want to be the wife who wants to be kissed with more then just lips, way more often and way longer.
I think I'm a good wife but I think I need to be reminded of how to be an AWESOME girlfriend.
because there was a time when I know...
he knew, without a doubt, that he was everything I ever wanted.
Now, with my mommy tummy insecurities, my busy day to day schedule and everything else in between...
somewhere in all that crap
I've lost sight of my husband and his needs and his wants.
It feels wrong to say that this is something I have to work at but it's true. It's the same with anything else, in order to make it a habit, you have to do something to nudge it along every single day.
After awhile it should become easier, more consistent and natural.
Make time, I always tell myself. Make time.
I've got to step up my game. Haha. I've got to get some game first.
I'm gonna start by working on all the little things, because I really do believe, it is those things that my husband will remember AND he deserves them.
Loving my husband is not a chore.
It's time for me to re-learn a few things.