Thursday, February 11, 2010

Love Is Not A Chore

Back in December 2009 I wrote a post titled, The 365 list.  In short it was 3 things I want to work on this year, 6 things I want to do and 5 things to get rid of.  

#2 on the list of things I want to work on this year was this:

Giving my husband more attention, hugs, kisses, praise, appreciation, touches, love.

So far I have done nothing more then the same.  I feel bad.  I know I kind of stink in this department.  
I always tell my husband that it's not just one special effort that matters, it's the consistency behind numerous efforts that becomes recognized.  

I should follow my own advice, I know.

Personally, I would rather have my husband being more attentive, nurturing, touching and loving 100 days out of the year then get over loaded on just one day, whether it be Valentines Day or our anniversary with gifts, flowers and other stuff that will litter the house.

Luckily, neither one of us puts too much emphasis on Valentines Day.  We do a little more extra with our Anniversary but we're just not about all that.  However, we really haven't been about all the little things either.

It bothers me.

I have all the ideas but just seem to lack the motivation/energy/oomph to implement them.  

What does that say about me and my feelings toward our relationship?

I want to be the wife who leaves post it notes around the house, reaches for his hand while walking beside him, rubs his back without being asked and packs his lunch from time to time without huffing.

I want to be the wife who is daydreamed about because my husband can't quite figure me out. I want to be the wife who's husband never has to wonder if she's in to him still.

I want to be the wife who wants to be kissed with more then just lips, way more often and way longer.

I think I'm a good wife but I think I need to be reminded of how to be an AWESOME girlfriend.  

because there was a time when I know...

he knew, without a doubt, that he was everything I ever wanted.

Now, with my mommy tummy insecurities, my busy day to day schedule and everything else in between...

somewhere in all that crap

I've lost sight of my husband and his needs and his wants.

It feels wrong to say that this is something I have to work at but it's true.  It's the same with anything else, in order to make it a habit, you have to do something to nudge it along every single day.
After awhile it should become easier, more consistent and natural.

Make time, I always tell myself.  Make time.  

I've got to step up my game.  Haha.  I've got to get some game first.

I'm gonna start by working on all the little things, because I really do believe, it is those things that my husband will remember AND he deserves them.

Loving my husband is not a chore.  

It's time for me to re-learn a few things.


The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

We do the little things.

Sometimes it is easy to forget because life just sweeps you away.

Don't feel bad, it is never to late.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

what a great post. I'm not married, but I think this counts for any relationship you're in. the little things always mean more and add up to more than the really big things on the days everyone ELSE is doing it. You can do it, it is something you have to get into the swing of though. Takes time and effort for some things. Start out small and slow...then go from there!!


I don't know if you entered the Holey Donuts giveaway or not, but if you could check out this post and do so for my blog, it would mean a TON for my family and you can enter for the book afterwards too if you wish (White Cat by Holly Black ARC)!:

Candace said...

LOVE this. So true. It's the little things, with our husbands or boyfriends AND our friends. I think I might write about this...

Surprise, surprise. Our blogs might have similar topics! :)

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

I absolutely identify with this post. I can be so selfish sometimes. I love my husband. I'm sometimes mean to him, and he is EXCELLENT at the everyday little things. He deserves better.

I think I will take your advice. I'm going to try harder.

Valarie Hodges said...

I just stumbled upon your blog & I totally understand you! I find myself thinking the same thing about my husband. Life is hard, and being married makes it harder. But its worth it.

Good luck nudging it along. I'll be here on my end beginning to nudge too!

erica said...

wow.. you just gave me a lot to think about.. i guess we're in kinda the same boat.. this is something i'm going to have to work on.. i'll let ya know how it goes.. lol.. it is the little things that matter, but my little things always have to do with the kids, worrying about making sure they know how much we love them, i guess i kinda forget about carl lee.. wow, that sounds horrible, i feel like a horrible wife and we're not even married yet.. i may be in trouble here.. lol..