Sunday, February 28, 2010

See Ya In Seven Days

UPDATED March 1.  This was intended to be a sarcastic rant on my impending and fast approaching PMS.  I got a few concerned comments and emails.  I am just pms'ng.  I'm not going anywhere.  I feel like poo but not "suffering".  
This was just my attempt at being FUNNY while having PMS.  I think I failed.  ;o)  
My husband came up with the title. 

No, I'm not going anywhere.... 

not physically anyway but definitely mentally and hormonally. 

The first of several migraines friends already came to visit me. I was awoken by his loud knocking bright and early Saturday morning.  I punished him by taking a lovely horse sized pill of ibuprofen.  I sat at the dining room table trying to enjoy breakfast with my family as I waited for my rude friend to stop screaming and knocking at my door.  Shortly before I was to leave for work he got the message and left. 

Sadly enough, I know he will return.  I'm not sure I have enough pills to last me 7 days.

Last night another friend a pain in my ass called irritability stopped by.  Nothing and no one seemed quite as funny to me as they did the day before, nor did I enjoy the clinginess of my little boys who know exactly when Mommy's tolerance level is low and giving in might result.  I punished this friend by sticking him in a corner and putting a hefty chunk of duct tape over his mouth to keep him from hurting himself by saying something he might regret in 7 days. 

Their other buddies breast tenderness and abdominal cramps sent me a text message to let me know they'd be arriving in a few days.  My house is a mess and I am trying to plan a birthday party for my big boy Jacek.  I am so not in the mood for these buddies or buddies of buddies to be showing up when they damn well please. 

The best part of all this is my SMUCKIN Auntie F is coming too.  Yep, she was courteous enough to email me an "I'm inviting myself over next Monday." greeting.  I wasn't surprised.  I knew she would be coming next week but seriously MONDAY?  That's my 7th Wedding Anniversary.  COULD SHE BE ANY MORE RUDE?!? 
How dare she invite herself over without regard to the plans I might have had to engage my husband with.  Ugh! 
Has she no decency?!?

So, yep.  First I get to enjoy the company of all these friends and buddies and then I'll be entertaining my Auntie F for the following week while a few of her friends mood swings, crying and fatigue  show up to make me feel really super. Apparently she can't travel alone.  That'd just be too much to ask.  

So seven smuckin blissful days I must endure of feeling like CRAP I'm someone else before I can begin to enjoy the fact that MARCH is here.  

Spring might be coming to visit too.  That'd be a visitor I'd welcome with open arms and beg to stay for WEEKS.

Not so much these other visitors

Those other visitors, well, they can go to hell in a hand basket along with the bicycle that my
AUNTIE F is riding for all I care.

See ya in Seven Days when I rip the duct tape off my mouth and shout

For "those of you" who might not get my sarcastic reference: any mention of AUNTIE F in this blog is intended to mean my period.  I could never hold this much disdane for any relative, Aunt or other.


Melissa said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with this. I can relate to some of it, but not to the extent that you suffer.

Crystal said...

I would move and see if they find your new

Danielle said...

Ugh...this was me last week. Suuuuucks! Feel better...

Unknown Mami said...

Make sure you rip the duct tape off in one swift move.

Thank you sooo much for visiting on my SITs day and not bringing all of your current visitors with you. Auntie F would have just ruined the party.