I Run But I'm Not A Runner

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
                                                     -Mohandas Gandhi

I am short.
When I was in junior high I was over weight.
I was on the basketball team but apparently I wasn't very good.

I don't know why.  

Did I mention I was short and over weight?

I never liked to run. I dreaded gym class on warm days when I knew the teacher would make us go outside.  That meant jogging around the school grounds, that meant I would be out of breath and sweaty and LAST.  By the time I was in 9th grade there were a few of us.  We'd walk.  The teacher eventually stopped trying to make us, "lost causes" run.

After school running became obsolete unless I had to scurry across a cross walk or J walk across a busy intersection.

Or when it was raining.  I run pretty fast when it's raining.  

I amaze many with my quick dash --ya know--from the van to the entrance of Walmart.

Skill baby, skill. 

Barely a drop gets on me!

But what now?  What can I say about running now?

Last year I started running.  I wasn't running to run though.  I had an ulterior motive.
You see, I was running to get myself out of bed and out the door by myself.  No kids in tow, no lugging a diaper bag, no twenty return trips into the house...I was out the door, with the tunes cranking and I was by MYSELF.  

It was this little slice of bliss every morning that I couldn't wait to sink my fork into.

I mean seriously, by the end of the first month I C R A V E D it.

It wasn't running that gave me peace of mind
it was the quiet of the morning.  

It wasn't running that made me feel good
it was that I was doing something for myself.  

It wasn't running that made me sign up for a 5k and complete it
it was self efficacy. 

I've run a few times so far this spring each time faster and longer then the last.

If you ask me "Do you like to run?"  I'd still say no.  I'm not a runner. 

If you ask me

"Do you like a brief moment of clarity?  Do you like quiet mornings?
Do you like to watch the sun rise in all its beautiful glory and feel its warmth on your face before so many others get to enjoy it?
Do you like doing something for yourself?
Do you like to accomplish goals you thought would never be your goals to accomplish?"

Yes. 

I run but am I a runner?  

Nope.  

I hate to run.

Unless it's raining.