Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday (Conversation) Fragments

"If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?" 

The other day I was rushing into Aldi's (where you have to use a quarter in order to get a cart) to pick up a few items that I could carry in my hands.  
On my way towards the entrance, bypassing the carts, an elderly woman started hollering at me.  

Elderly Woman Demanding: "Hey! Take my cart."

I stopped and looked at her.  

Elderly Woman becoming forceful and shoving cart at me:
"Here. Take it!  It's free"  

I chuckled and smirked at her.  
Kerri being slightly sarcastic but smiling: 
"It's not like I get to KEEP the cart".  

She stopped and looked at me.  
Kerri trying to convince elderly she IS nice: 
"I don't need a cart but would you like me to take it back for you?"  

Elderly Woman becoming grouchy and yanks cart back: 
"No, never mind.  I want my quarter back anyways."  

Kerri muttering under her breath: 
"And I bet you think teenagers have attitudes!  Geesh."

Elderly woman: {{glaring at Kerri}}


~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 

While in the check out line at our local Wal-Mart I put two coupons up on the counter and waited for the clerk to ring up all my groceries.  
She glanced at the coupons and clicked on her ominous blinking light summoning help. 
I wrinkled my brow in distaste.  


Walmart Clerk:  "We're not going to be able to accept those"
Kerri being pleasant: "Why is that?"

All of a sudden, the front end manager shows up like a hidden little troll under a bridge.  

Manager Troll: "These are counterfeit!"  "These are fraudulent!"  
She looks at me.  I'm looking at her.  
Kerri becoming irritated and annoyed:  "Why. Is. That?"  

Manager Troll becoming louder:  
"You don't want to get caught using these.  You can get in a lot of trouble."  

I laughed.  My son was tugging at me.  
Jacek being his sweet self: "Are you in trouble Mommy?"
Kerri being Mommy: "No, this lady is just trying to scare me."

Manager Troll appallingly yelling:
"I'm not trying to SCARE you.  I'm trying to tell you that you don't want to get caught with these!"

Kerri being cool as a cucumber: 
"Well I'm not the one who made them so I'm not really worried about being caught using them.  I just assumed they were regular every day store coupons.  I found them online at a coupon site." 

She looks at me.  She glances down at my son.

Manager troll trying to decide if she believes me or not:  
"From a coupon site.  Really?!?"

Manager Troll apparently thinks I didn't hear her the other 2 times: "Well, you can't use them" 

Manager Troll's SWEET split personality emerges: 
"Would you like them back?

Kerri being purely sarcastic now: 
"Sure. I'll go and try to use them somewhere else."

She looks at me with really big eyes.


Kerri's SWEET split personality emerges: 
"No, I don't want them back.  Can you please throw them out for me?"

She rips them up. 

Manager troll addresses customers behind me: 
"Sorry for the hold up.  She was using fraudulent coupons."

They look at me.  I look at them.  I look at my son.


I BITE MY TONGUE and walk away.


This is exactly why I should never go shopping alone.  Had my son not been there, I might have found myself wrestling with a troll.


And everyone knows trolls don't play fair.

21 comments:

Melissa said...

I don't know if I could have held my tongue with the Walmart troll. I've had similar conversations with supermarket clerks, including one who tried to tell me that chocolate milk isn't milk (when the coupon said "any flavor").

In your situation, I probably would have said, "Then if you can't take the coupons, I don't want the products." And if I was really annoyed ... well, nevermind. :)

Aujntie M said...

You displayed great restraint. I most likely would have asked for a higher authority, even if I had to go to the owner of the ding dang store. Now that's not ingrained in my personality, but my hubby has had a big influence on how I deal with trolls. And have to say as we get older, there is no fear. LOL

Stepping On Cheerios said...

OMG! I would have gone ape on that troll!

Wal-Mart sucks anyway:)

PolishPrince said...

I'm glad I wasn't there, please tell me you remember her face? hehe.

Writing Without Periods! said...

Don't people make you wonder? You are smart to hold your tongue. I sometimes can't and then I'm angry all day. I learned something from you...it's best just to be quiet.
mary

Kristen said...

Well, I for one, kids or no kids would have gone off...berate *me* in front of other customers?!?! ummm...NO...I don't even think sooo!! I would have made a scene like no other...seriously. Wow, I guess kudos for you, for biting your tongue, but I would have been not so polite. :)

BTW: lol...my word verification for this? lol..efurro!! In a sentence, I would have been EFURRO had this been me!! :p

Melissa said...

Wow. That is ridiculous. Not cool Wal-Mart workers!

B Sparkly said...

Happy FF!! I'm a new follower:) Come see me at my blog.
Anat

Simply Stacie said...

Following you from the Friday Follow!

http://stacievaughansblog.blogspot.com/

I am Harriet said...

Hi there.
You couldn't write weirder stuff than that. Trying to scam Walmart for a quarter.
Stopping by via Friday Follow to say hello.

Have a great day!
http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/03/are-you-happy-i-am-i-got-a-new-iphone/

Kristen said...

Ahem, this is a public announcement...

Congrats lil' sis on 50 followers!!

*APPLAUSE*

:)

Nicole Bouchard Boles said...

Stopped by from Friday Follow - and I'm so glad I found you! Now following so I don't miss anything! You can follow me at
www.everydayphilanthropistblog.com
Nicole

joeandbridge said...

Good Morning! Happy Friday Follow! I am your newest follower. Come visit me :) and have a great weekend! Shoot me an email if you'd like me to subscribe, twitter or facebook.

Bridgette Groschen
The Groschen Goblins
http://www.groschengoblins.com

~Shelley~ said...

Visiting from Friday Follow...I'm your newest follower! Love for you to come visit me :)

Have a great weekend!
~Shelley @ Shelley's Swag

Midday Escapades said...

Howdy, partner. Thanks for linking up with Friday Follow! I am now your blog follower. It is a pleasure to meet ya and have a great weekend!

~ Lynn
http://www.middayescapades.com

Beth said...

Trolls don't fight fair! ROFL!

Cheryl said...

Yikes. Some people. Stopping by from SITS Sharefest.

Daisygirl said...

Hi coming over from the Friday Follow! Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday. I am now following yours.

I am laughing at the coupon situation...its happened to me and I don't print off coupons anymore. It was for blockbuster video though they tend to be a little less Walmarty in there!
Hope you have a good weekend. ~Jen

Mrs4444 said...

OMG-That's funny! It always cracks me up how filled with self-importance some check-out people are. You showed excellent self-control; not sure I could have done the same.

erica said...

lmao.. ha too funny.. you counterfeiter.. haha.. even with the kids with me, i still think that i would have been the troll in the end of that situation..

LuLu said...

Oh, you did good, I would not have been so nice and calm! Wal-Mart really sucks, and yet, for some reason I still shop there. It's those prices. My husband returned something once, and security was brought in for suspected shoplifting. He had the receipt, the trolls checked in his return when he walked into the store, I just don't get it.

~Lauri
http://knitsandreads.blogspot.com