When I get in a funk you can often find me sitting or depending on the situation laying on the kitchen floor. I'm not sure where I got this weird oddity of a habit or when it started but I found myself sitting on the kitchen floor tonight without any ounce of interest in making dinner.
The boys were in the kitchen with me. They played with their fridge toys as their mother (that's me) groaned in discontent just inches away.
At one point Jacek asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was really not interested in making dinner.
He says to me, "Well, we have to eat. I'll just eat a hot dog. I like hot dogs, so does Aidan".
I love to cook so this is not a common weekly occurrence but it does happen.
Tonight, however, meatloaf was the "planned" meal. Yes, I am one of "those Moms". I make a menu at some point, plan a trip to the grocery store with said menu in mind and follow that menu through the week. We deviate from the menu on nights when it just isn't gonna happen. On those nights, plan YOYO is executed. YOYO - You're On You're Own.
So there I was, sprawled out on my kitchen floor with my boys jumping on and around me, thinking "Should I play the YOYO card tonight?"
Meatloaf. Or no meatloaf? That is the question.
I loved meatloaf growing up. My father would make it. (Funny how sometimes I call him father and other times call him Dad) I still love meatloaf. I always think of Dad in the kitchen with his bare hands in the silver mixing bowl mixing the meat and ingredients together. I remember the potatoes boiling on the stove, soon to be mashed potatoes. And the canned corn, can't forget the canned corn. Oh, and the gravy in the orange pourable mixing bowl.
Jacek and Aidan have not yet enjoyed a meatloaf meal. There has always been a huge amount of protest, gagging and a frustrated Mommy and Daddy on meatloaf nights.
Not tonight! Whatever I did to the meatloaf tonight was nothing short of a miracle. Yes, that's right. I got my butt off the floor and made the meatloaf. NO hot dog dinner for my boys! The meatloaf was delicious and the boys didn't even utter a word. They. Just. Ate. and Ate. and Ate.
They ate the meatloaf the way I remember eating my fathers.
When the boys were done and hands and faces washed I sat for a minute at the table by myself and thought about my Dad.
Then I thought about my boys. Grown. Wondering if some day they too might have a moment of reflection when they think of their mother and her meatloaf and her smile.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wordless Wednesday 1/6/2010...with a few words.
I love to read to my boys.
What I love even more is holding or sitting close to them
as they get read to.
That way, I get to enjoy the snuggles and the story too.
Rarely is a moment like this caught.
Mainly because we don't have a camera crew following us around.
The librarian took this during story time one morning.
This, I love this!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A Queen's Meme to celebrate my 75th post
This is my 75th post. Isn't that just fantastic?
4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.
Here's mine:
Did I mention this is my 75th blog post! It totally is.
ROCK ON!
What better way to celebrate it but to have a little fun.
I stopped over at The Queen's Meme
and her Album Cover Meme sounded like a lot of fun.
Here's the steps to follow to make your own.
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
Go to the bottom of the page and find the NEW RANDOM QUOTATIONS button. Click it. The last four words of the very last quote that appears on the page is the title of your album.
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.
Here's mine:
Introducing The Princess Mayblossom
with her debut album" Before You Get Tired"
Kind of funny how the album title totally fits. I'm always thinking "Before I get tired I better get my blog done for the day"
You can call me The Princess Mayblossom if you'd like.
Did I mention this is my 75th blog post! It totally is.
ROCK ON!
Monday, January 4, 2010
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."
Darren went back to work today. And so did I, I suppose. It wasn't long before the boys and I were back into our normal Monday routine of shuffling laundry up and down, dish washing, toy arranging, paper organizing and today we threw, Christmas UN-decorating, in the mix...ya know, to keep things interesting! I just remembered we made a quick grocery store run too. It's amazing how full our days can be.
Aidan went to bed sporting an old scratch on his forehead from his brother grinding his face into the zipper on the couch cushion "accidentally" a few nights ago, a brush burned nose from his brother "accidentally" riding his head, with his face down, into the playroom's berber carpet, and a black and blue bruise on his right cheek that he got right before bed when his brother tripped over his feet at the bottom of the stairwell and slammed his face into the bottom step, on "accident". We gave him kisses and greased his face in A&D goop. Hopefully, he won't look like a cage fighter tomorrow morning.
If he does, it will be painfully obvious who the winner of the fight was as he stands next to his 5 foot not even 4 year old BEARDED brother, who just happens to be holding a hamburger in each of his hands.
AND COLD!
It's been so cold. I've had this chill I can't shake. I bundle up in 5 different layers, big knit socks AND slippers and I'm still "not quite warm". We have two major cold spots in our house that we need to nip in the bud one of these years. You can feel the air when you stand in the spots, and it's not a draft it's a BREEZE.
Brrrrrr.
I finished up my un-decorating after dinner while Darren took the boys up to the playroom for a little bit. Every year, while un-decorating I miss something and I find it days after I've shoved and stuffed our storage area with every Christmas tote I have. Every year I try to find the hiding pieces. Tonight was no different. I walked from room to room, looking high, low, under, over...and I thought I got every last single Christmas item. But I am clearly mistaken because I sit, in the living room as I write this, and directly in front of me, in all it's red Christmas Christmasness is my fake poinsettia. HAHA!!! I FOUND YOU BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! I WILL SHOVE YOU IN A TOTE TOMORROW! Unless I forget. Which I probably will.
The boys, including Darren got really cranky at about 7:53pm. Jacek kept saying "I'm so tired Mommy, so so tired." and "I'm hungry still". That kid ate fruit chews and animal crackers after nap, a cheese slice when we got back from the grocery store, half a cheeseburger, fries, and a pickle for dinner, two cookies for snack, raisins, and then another half a hamburger because he could. Apparently, he'll be 5 foot tall when he wakes up tomorrow with a full beard. "For crying out loud I need to go buy more groceries."
Aidan went to bed sporting an old scratch on his forehead from his brother grinding his face into the zipper on the couch cushion "accidentally" a few nights ago, a brush burned nose from his brother "accidentally" riding his head, with his face down, into the playroom's berber carpet, and a black and blue bruise on his right cheek that he got right before bed when his brother tripped over his feet at the bottom of the stairwell and slammed his face into the bottom step, on "accident". We gave him kisses and greased his face in A&D goop. Hopefully, he won't look like a cage fighter tomorrow morning.
If he does, it will be painfully obvious who the winner of the fight was as he stands next to his 5 foot not even 4 year old BEARDED brother, who just happens to be holding a hamburger in each of his hands.
Dang, it's cold.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Achieving an intended result
I don't consider myself a physically active person. My interests don't include going to the gym, running, lifting weights, or getting sweaty period. However, last year when I was training (on my own) for my first 5k I felt invigorated and alive for the first time in years. I remarked several times to several different people, "I hate running". "I never liked it when I was young and I still don't".
What I did like was the sense of accomplishment I got from doing it. I simply believed I could do it and when I turned down the last street and glimpsed the finish line the world fell aside and all I felt was pride. I was so proud of myself, not in the act of running itself but in what I believed I could accomplish and what I ended up mastering.
That feeling is called, self-efficacy (ef-fi-ca-cy).
Self-efficacy as wikipedia states, has been described as the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals, the sense of belief that one’s actions have an effect on the environment, a sense of a person’s competence within a specific framework, focusing on the person’s assessment of their abilities to perform specific tasks in relation to goals and standards rather than in comparison with others’ capabilities.
Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect--in essence, competence--self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect by completing a given task or activity related to that competency.
Darren has said that I posses the ability to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. He has even mentioned that he aspires to that and will often follow suit if he sees me gearing up for another accomplishment.
Self-efficacy is an amazing thing. I never even knew such a term existed until today. I found myself over at Science Daily and found myself agreeing and nodding my head as I read the article.
The article itself touches mainly on the physical aspect of accomplishing goals.
"Previous studies have shown that increases in physical activity also increase self-efficacy. The effect is almost immediate, McAuley said."
The focus of the actual study is how "Mastery of Physical Goals Lessens Disease-Related Depression and Fatigue".
I most definitely agree that accomplishing goals gives you self-efficacy and lessens depression and fatigue. I also believe it keeps you coming back for more. I'm already gearing up for this spring's training and will find myself running a 5k and hopefully a 10k by the end of the year.
I don't think self-efficacy is achieved only by physical acts though. I also think that self-efficacy can be achieved by a mere act of self-betterment, learning a new skill or accomplishing a goal. I think you would achieve it just the same by setting a goal to be a better listener and having someone tell you that you really are.
I search for self-efficacy, now that I have a term for it, like it's an addiction and I'm looking for my next fix.
What's important for me to remember as I continue to master my goals and lessens is to:
I have the strength and courage to believe in myself. I have the power to do so. It's a win-win situation.
What I did like was the sense of accomplishment I got from doing it. I simply believed I could do it and when I turned down the last street and glimpsed the finish line the world fell aside and all I felt was pride. I was so proud of myself, not in the act of running itself but in what I believed I could accomplish and what I ended up mastering.
That feeling is called, self-efficacy (ef-fi-ca-cy).
Self-efficacy as wikipedia states, has been described as the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals, the sense of belief that one’s actions have an effect on the environment, a sense of a person’s competence within a specific framework, focusing on the person’s assessment of their abilities to perform specific tasks in relation to goals and standards rather than in comparison with others’ capabilities.
Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect--in essence, competence--self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect by completing a given task or activity related to that competency.
Darren has said that I posses the ability to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. He has even mentioned that he aspires to that and will often follow suit if he sees me gearing up for another accomplishment.
Self-efficacy is an amazing thing. I never even knew such a term existed until today. I found myself over at Science Daily and found myself agreeing and nodding my head as I read the article.
The article itself touches mainly on the physical aspect of accomplishing goals.
"Previous studies have shown that increases in physical activity also increase self-efficacy. The effect is almost immediate, McAuley said."
The focus of the actual study is how "Mastery of Physical Goals Lessens Disease-Related Depression and Fatigue".
I most definitely agree that accomplishing goals gives you self-efficacy and lessens depression and fatigue. I also believe it keeps you coming back for more. I'm already gearing up for this spring's training and will find myself running a 5k and hopefully a 10k by the end of the year.
I don't think self-efficacy is achieved only by physical acts though. I also think that self-efficacy can be achieved by a mere act of self-betterment, learning a new skill or accomplishing a goal. I think you would achieve it just the same by setting a goal to be a better listener and having someone tell you that you really are.
I search for self-efficacy, now that I have a term for it, like it's an addiction and I'm looking for my next fix.
What's important for me to remember as I continue to master my goals and lessens is to:
- have low expectations
- give myself an expandable time frame/pace myself
- to pat myself on the back along the way
- allow for setbacks.
- relish in the moment of self-efficacy for it is mine and mine alone
- remember that I am awesome and totally, totally capable of accomplishing anything I desire
I have the strength and courage to believe in myself. I have the power to do so. It's a win-win situation.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
It ain't over till the fat lady sings, or tomorrow at 11:59pm
I went back to work today after taking last weekend off.
a bit a little A LOT.
it sucked.
Darren has been home the past week.
We slept in pretty much every day.
Even though we didn't do anything special
We spent a lot of time together.
I missed my boys today.
I missed Darren.
I'm a little bit out of it this evening. I think I'm in week mode already. Gearing up for at least a few breakdowns on Jacek's part. He's going to miss not having Daddy around. Aidan will too. I will too.
Even though I'm anxious about things getting back to "normal". I'm dragging my feet...
It's already happening. Jacek knows it's coming. He's fighting us and crying more then
usual. Being defiant. Fighting the inevitable.
I go to work again tomorrow.
Darren goes back on Monday.
Vacation time ends tomorrow at 11:59pm.
Anyone have some tissues?
Friday, January 1, 2010
Dreaming Halo
When Darren and I lived in North Carolina we spent many a night (of course before kids) playing video games. Two of our all time favorites were Castle Wolfenstein and Halo.
I always forget how much fun we end up having. The game allows us to play the missions together.
In the first Halo, we both had to be the main character, Master Chief. But in Halo 2 and 3 player 1 (Darren) gets to be Master Chief
"Originally a sworn enemy of the humans, Arbiter was forced to join forces with them in Halo 2 and 3. Arbiter is by far the most kickass guy in halo and with him master chief could not finish the fight."
So, basically he is like a traitor and through out the game his "brothers", the covenant taunt him. They all shout "kill the Arbiter".
In the game we each drive tanks, hummers, a.t.vs, helicopters, etc.
We get to shoot at these alien things that we call "chiggers" and "the flood".
We had a lot of fun last night and thought we were going to complete the game but we didn't.
We stopped and welcomed in the new year.
We went to bed soon after and I had very vivid dreams. Darren asked me this morning if I had dreams about the game.
"I sure did. I had a dream that I was Arbiter and I was in school. All the kids were making fun of me and pointing at me."
He laughed.
"Did you dream about the game?" I asked in return.
"Yep, and I shot everybody up!"
When Darren upgraded from his Xbox console to the new Xbox 360 I urged him to get the new Halo, Halo 3.
In the beginning we played it fairly often then as things got more and more hectic(we now have kids) we played it less and then not at all.
Until last night.I always forget how much fun we end up having. The game allows us to play the missions together.
In the first Halo, we both had to be the main character, Master Chief. But in Halo 2 and 3 player 1 (Darren) gets to be Master Chief
and I get to be Arbiter
"Originally a sworn enemy of the humans, Arbiter was forced to join forces with them in Halo 2 and 3. Arbiter is by far the most kickass guy in halo and with him master chief could not finish the fight."
So, basically he is like a traitor and through out the game his "brothers", the covenant taunt him. They all shout "kill the Arbiter".
We get to shoot at these alien things that we call "chiggers" and "the flood".
We had a lot of fun last night and thought we were going to complete the game but we didn't.
We stopped and welcomed in the new year.
We went to bed soon after and I had very vivid dreams. Darren asked me this morning if I had dreams about the game.
"I sure did. I had a dream that I was Arbiter and I was in school. All the kids were making fun of me and pointing at me."
He laughed.
"Did you dream about the game?" I asked in return.
"Yep, and I shot everybody up!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)