It's Eight, Zero, Zero

This whole "fall back" thing has both boys all messed up.  How crazy it becomes when the light outside doesn't quite match to their normal routine.

Jacek was getting up early and being the only awake person in the house even before the whole set your clock back thing so Darren and I went out and got a small clock for his room.  Along with the clock we made a sign that showed what 8:00am will look like on the clock. 

The reasoning behind our madness: to keep the boy in his room until 8.

On Monday morning, the first morning with the clock, he was up at 6:45.  I hear him leave his room.  We have 2 staircases in our house and he goes down the main one which enters out into the parlor.  He comes around into the kitchen, presumably looking for life forms that resemble Mommy or Daddy, no such things at that hour!  "Jacek", I call from upstairs.  His footsteps quicken and he rushes up the staircase to our bedroom.  "Mommy", he says when he reaches the top, "My clock is never gonna say eight, eight, eight!"  Trying to hide my smile I say "It's eight, zero, zero and yes, it will."  "Oh", he says disappointed, knowing where I'm going to send him back to.  Off to his bedroom he goes and he stays for about 20 minutes until his brother, in the next room, begins to "screech".

It is still only just a little after 7 in the morning.  "Quiet", now only comes in waves as my sons have quite a back and forth battle of screeches.
Not to long after this Jacek leaves his room again.  He finds me in the living room writing out a shopping list.  "My clock is still the same"he says, meaning the 7 is still there.  "Yes Jacek, it's still early".  "Why don't you take those books back up" I say, pointing to a few he must have brought down with him the first time he came down.  "You can look at those while you wait PATIENTLY for eight, zero, zero"

"Yea", he exclaims.  "They will help my clock go faster".

At about 8:02 I head up the stairs and meet Jacek on his way down.  "Mommy, the clock, the clock has an 8".  "I did it, I did it, I stayed in my room till 8".

I sigh.

"Yep, good job Buddy"

Zipper Sweet and Nice

Today has been a nice day.  I say that with as much enthusiasm as I can.  It has been a nice day.  Darren was not feeling well yesterday so he stayed home.  Our morning yesterday was awful and the rest of the day turned kind of boring and uneventful.  Today things were exactly the opposite.

Darren stayed home again today.  He was feeling much better but still wasn't feeling well enough to go to work.  I was excited because yesterday I ruined our morning and who isn't excited about getting a second chance to make things right?

Getting the boys dressed this morning went so smoothly I kept waiting for something to ruin our good moods.  Isn't that terrible?  I just kept thinking that things were "to good to be true".  Most days getting the boys dressed and ourselves dressed feels like it requires the energy of champions but everyone was in the right moods today and we all worked together and got it done.

On Tuesday when I went to pick Jacek up from school his teacher asked him to remember to try and zip up his jacket on his own.  He's been pretty tight lipped with sharing information about his doings at school so I was beyond excited to get a glimpse into what he's been learning.  And so when he had his jacket on we asked  him to give it a try.  And he did it!  All by himself!  It's weird how when your child does something like zipping up their coat for the first time you get these flashes.  I felt proud of him, so proud of him and then sad.  Each thing he learns to do himself is one less thing I get to do for him.  And yeah yeah, I complain that I'm tired of doing this and doing that but every Mom does, right?  It's a wish come true that is bittersweet.  I couldn't stop with the praise and Jacek was beaming!  Way to go Jacek!

Then we went out and enjoyed ourselves, eating messy powdered donuts filled with sweet jelly and donut holes that made my little boys' fingers and faces very, very sticky.

There was all that normal stuff in there too, the fussy bits, the whiney bits, the not sharing bits but on days when everything else falls into place that stuff just doesn’t make or break the day. 

What made the day a nice day was us just simply living it.  There were no hurried feet and no pointed fingers.

We all played nicely together and enjoyed every second.

Wordless Wednesday

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Over at Wordless Wednesday posters that participate are supposed to share a picture that speaks for itself, or a few pictures to create a little story. 

Here's the picture I chose.

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.”

-Walt Streightiff

Thinking about Candace

I have a new friend, I've known her since early spring but I think we have a pretty good thing going for us.  She's become an instant friend and has become a constant in the boys and I's plans almost every week. 

Her name is Candace and Candace is hurting. 

To quote her own words "My dad is in critical condition in Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit. He collapsed in his hotel room Sunday night and was transported to the hospital. His heart (he's had a heart condition his entire life) was not beating right for five days prior. He has been on medication for this for a long time. His vital organs are all fine, as is his heart, but he may have been without oxygen for too long. He's in a non-responsive coma and they're doing brain scans to see if there's any brain activity.  Please pray and/or talk to whoever each of you talk to in times like these. We're all hoping for a miracle."

I am reaching out to anyone who may read this.  Please keep Candace, her Dad and their family in your thoughts and prayers.

I've been distracted and worried thinking about her and thinking how fast everything you know can just all of sudden be so different.


I'm so sad that she has to deal with this.  It sucks, it really just sucks.

30 Posts In 30 Days

Some days I really feel like I live under a rock or at the very least in a dark dark cave.  How could I have not EVER heard about this 30 Posts in 30 Days being a NATIONAL thing!!  Where have I been?  I am now even more motivated and excited to be doing this.  The simple fact that there are tons of other people working on their writing, sharing a common goal: to spit out post after post after post.  How cool is that? 

I've learned that I shy away from blogging even though I always want to blog. When I blog I want it to be honest and honestly that isn’t as easy as I thought it’d be.
I find myself writing, pulling from personal experiences, often involving those closest to me and then the worry sets in.
Will something I write cause friction in my relationships?
I don’t want it to and that worry hurts my writing or at least it compromises my want to write.
The best blogs I’ve read are ones where the writer pulls from personal experience. Those are the ones I relate to. Those are the ones I return to.
I want one of those blogs! I do, I do, I do.
I have found that I lose ambition if I have to hold back and that applies to many things besides writing as well. When I have to put something in I’d rather put all of it in.

I’m almost positive this is why my blogs ALWAYS peter out. (funny side note – I had to spell check peter out because I’ve always thought it was spelled peeter)

Anyways……………

Have I scared everyone off? I bet everyone I know that reads this is thinking, “oh boy, here we go!”

My blog disclosure:

I am not writing to hurt anyone’s feelings, damage relationships or to "call anyone out".  With that said, this is MY blog, my journal and I’m going to use it as a source of “free therapy”. I am going to be open, honest and write from personal experience.
Your comments, shared thoughts and ideas will help me. I understand it’s easy to lurk, come to read and leave, but I need your support because I really want to do this.

Help me to open up. Help me write from my heart.  Help me strive to be a more honest writer.

So, I ask everyone that reads my blog to please at least leave one comment per blog, even just a hello so I know I have some support.  A few of you have sent emails to klynnski8@gmail.com and that is great as well.  Questions are welcome too.

I really, really appreciate it.

My first "NOT ME" Monday post

I read several blogs pretty regularly. From reading one I always check out their blog list and often find other blogs to subscribe to.
I found MckMama from Be Strong and Courageous and have always wanted to participate in what always appears fun and probably very theuraputic "Not Me" Monday.


        
Are you feeling guilty for avoiding making a dentist appointment for just one more month because you hate going there so much? Hope that no one saw you pick your nose while you sat at the traffic light? Overcome with shame because, in your house, cleaning for guests just means shoving stuff into drawers and closets? Well don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of my desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, here's my very first one! Wahoo!


On Wednesday, I DID NOT skip a busy storytime at a big library because I was NOT in the mood for a lot of people. I did not take the boys to a smaller library, with no storytime so that I could enjoy a few minutes talking with a friend.

On Thursday I did not, not take any halloween goodie bags for the kids in Jacek's class because I'm new to this "having a kid in school" business. I did not get embarassed and try to leave as fast as I could once I realized all the other Mom's had brought them.

I did not rush home to book my flight to Richmond, VA after having to carry and pull my two screaming children out of the gym where I was trying to enjoy watching my niece play in a volleyball game. I did not have a HUGE smile on my face when I got my confirmation email with my flight itinerary. Nope not me!!

I did not find a disgustingly huge amount of dirt, dust and crumbs under our couch. I did not last clean under it almost two months ago.

I did not scream "JUST BE QUIET" at Aidan after almost 40 minutes of him screaming and crying in the van, even after pulling into a parking lot to change his diaper.

I did not get so emotionally upset this weekend that I almost puked.

And finally.....

I DID NOT eat another snack size box of Dots, while having a dull aching pain in my tooth. I did not ignore the pain and the fact that I probably have a few cavaties and enjoy every last yummy chew.

That was really fun.....care to share any of your NOT ME's?

Why'd......?

I am never, never prepared for some of the things I hear when my newest tattoo...my sun...is admired.

Most of the feedback I've gotten has been positive and I've even passed off my artists (Sue Gertner at Ultimate Tattoo) card to a very skeptical but hopeful first time tattoo wanter.

But...a few weeks ago a person I know, in the fact that they aren’t a stranger, and I engaged in a very quick conversation in regards to my tattoo.

After we exchanged "niceties", ya know, "Hi, how are you?" "Good, how are you?" She glances at my barely exposed, peeking out sun face and says...

Wait for it.......wait for it........

"So, Why'd you go and get that big thing right there?"

I say this person is someone I know. She is not however someone I would say is my friend. She does not know me well. She knows of me. She knows my name. She knows I have two sons but I would be shocked if she remembered their names.

I know little of her in return. Apparently though, she does have a set of very big balls. But from what I hear, she says what she thinks and I have to respect her for that...I guess.

Now, back in the day I would have done my famous blotching, breaking out in all face encompassing blotches of embarrassment and anxiety. Thankfully things have changed. I have changed. And it totally helps that I am absolutely IN LOVE with my tattoo.

I could have answered many things. I could have answered her question with a question of my own for my own pure enjoyment of course.

I could have offered to explain. Offering knowledge into my childhood, that my Daddy called me his "sun", being the youngest of 3 daughters and all. That the sun's eyes bare a keen resemblance to my Dads and when I look down I can see his face.

I could have shared my father's medical history, explaining the sun is over my heart because my father has had years...scratch that...a life filled with heart tests, stroke, medications, high blood pressure, broken shocking defibrillators, open heart surgery and has an "enlarged" heart that is bigger then any room I've ever been in.

  
I could have said that it represents so much.

I could have invited her in.

I didn't.

I simply said "Because it's who I am"

She did not have a response. I saw a flitter of understanding, an eye quiver of respect maybe.

I left the room.

As she was walking out of the office a half hour later she stopped at my desk.

“Your tattoo is beautiful” she says.

“Thank you.” I replied.