Monday, December 7, 2009
Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero. ~Marc Brown
Aidan had his 15 month wellness check up this morning. He'll actually be 16 months old on the 12th but due to an insurance change we had to wait until December.
Today it was just Mommy and the boys. Darren had to go to work.
The check up part was easy but it was the news that he was due to get four shots, 2 in each leg that was hard to stomach.
When the nurse came in with the needles I asked Jacek if he would like to come up to the table and hold Aidan's hand during the shots.
His eyes filled with tears.
"I don't want Aidan to get shots. They hurt", he says.
"I know Buddy but he needs them to stay strong and healthy."
He pulled out the little step that the doctor tables have and stepped up to his brothers side. He first touched Aidan's hand and Aidan turned his head to him.
Then the nurse said she was ready to begin.
Jacek held Aidans hand so tight that both their hands were red when he finally let go.
Aidan screamed during the shots and although he didn't make any noise I think Jacek was screaming too.
I praised Aidan for being such a brave boy and Jacek for being such a great big brother. Jacek seemed sad.
As the nurse placed band-aids on Aidan's leg I saw Jacek glancing at his brothers legs with a heavy heart.
Later, during dinner Jacek and I were recalling our day for Darren.
I again praised Jacek for being such a great big brother. He nodded his head and beamed proudly at his Daddy.
"What you felt when you were holding Aidan's hand Jacek, that was love. That's what love feels like."
"Aidan's my brother" he says.
"Yes, and you're his." "Forever."
Sunday, December 6, 2009
'Tis the season to cut your own tree
There was no snow but there was mud.
There were no clouds but there was sun.
There was cold temperatures but we had our warm coats, hats and various hand coverings.
The trees weren't very tall
but we found one that was just right.
Someone got fussy over having to wear his mittens
but he eventually stopped whining about it.
The hot cocoa was yummy . The cookies sweet and crumby.
The majority of our photos turned out blurry but there were a few surprises.
Our mission complete.
Christmas Tree 2009
is in the house!
Naked. But in the house.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Zackarys New Chapter
My nephew Zackary turned 14 today.
I watched my sister and my brother in law exchange glances while their 14 year old son opened birthday gifts from his family. I wondered if they felt as odd about the fact that they have a 14 year old son as I did about the fact that I have a 14 year old nephew.
When I was 14 my sister and I had already shared all our young reckless sister moments. Most of the more memorable ones shared way before my 14th birthday. When I turned 14 she was graduating from high school and was already in a serious relationship with Terry, her now husband.
Zackary has had his childhood. He's starting a new chapter in his life. This fills me with pride and sadness.
He won't see his childhood for what it was until much later on in his life. He won't look back on the memories of him and his sister Ashley and reflect until his life has quieted. Until his path is being traveled rather then being charted.
When I was 14 I started going on group dates and experienced my first real kiss. I also felt rejection for the first time. I felt ugly most of the time. And while I hadn't yet entered the realm of sex I wasn't considerably far from it either.
Angst. Deep-seeded spiritual condition of insecurity and fear.
Adolescence. is a transitional stage. an in-between stage.
I remember a lot of good times being a teenager but I remember crying a lot more.
The part of me that is his Aunt watches with reservation. I observe. I cheer him on and support him unconditionally just more from a distance now then before.
I know our hugs will become less frequent as will his childish ways. His voice is already more of a mans then a child's. I know it won't be long before he asks Uncle Darren and I if it's alright to invite his girlfriend over to a party or a gathering we're having at our house. I know it won't be long before I hear the honk of his horn as he heads out to meet his friends on a Friday night.
I know it won't be long before it is one of my sons doing the same things. I know it all happens so fast and it will be here before I know it.
What a journey Zackary begins as he turns the page. All those firsts. All those new plots and characters that will reveal themselves. All that adventure.
At times I know I will watch in envy for it is all new to him. Easier for me to say then him I'm sure. My experiences and lessons have been learned. He has no idea what's in store or what to expect.
I miss the first time butterflies feeling. I haven't had them in some time.
Jacek won't turn 14 for more then 10 years. Aidan will be 12, on the cusp.
My sister is 36. I will be 42 when I have a 14 year old teenage boy in my house.
I can't even begin to imagine.
By then, Zackary will be 24. Maybe he'll be able to guide Jacek a long the road of adolescence. Maybe Zackary will share a lesson learned.
Hopefully Zackary will be happy. Very happy.
I hope it's a page turner every step of the way.
I watched my sister and my brother in law exchange glances while their 14 year old son opened birthday gifts from his family. I wondered if they felt as odd about the fact that they have a 14 year old son as I did about the fact that I have a 14 year old nephew.
When I was 14 my sister and I had already shared all our young reckless sister moments. Most of the more memorable ones shared way before my 14th birthday. When I turned 14 she was graduating from high school and was already in a serious relationship with Terry, her now husband.
Zackary has had his childhood. He's starting a new chapter in his life. This fills me with pride and sadness.
He won't see his childhood for what it was until much later on in his life. He won't look back on the memories of him and his sister Ashley and reflect until his life has quieted. Until his path is being traveled rather then being charted.
When I was 14 I started going on group dates and experienced my first real kiss. I also felt rejection for the first time. I felt ugly most of the time. And while I hadn't yet entered the realm of sex I wasn't considerably far from it either.
Angst. Deep-seeded spiritual condition of insecurity and fear.
Adolescence. is a transitional stage. an in-between stage.
I remember a lot of good times being a teenager but I remember crying a lot more.
The part of me that is his Aunt watches with reservation. I observe. I cheer him on and support him unconditionally just more from a distance now then before.
I know our hugs will become less frequent as will his childish ways. His voice is already more of a mans then a child's. I know it won't be long before he asks Uncle Darren and I if it's alright to invite his girlfriend over to a party or a gathering we're having at our house. I know it won't be long before I hear the honk of his horn as he heads out to meet his friends on a Friday night.
I know it won't be long before it is one of my sons doing the same things. I know it all happens so fast and it will be here before I know it.
What a journey Zackary begins as he turns the page. All those firsts. All those new plots and characters that will reveal themselves. All that adventure.
At times I know I will watch in envy for it is all new to him. Easier for me to say then him I'm sure. My experiences and lessons have been learned. He has no idea what's in store or what to expect.
I miss the first time butterflies feeling. I haven't had them in some time.
Jacek won't turn 14 for more then 10 years. Aidan will be 12, on the cusp.
My sister is 36. I will be 42 when I have a 14 year old teenage boy in my house.
I can't even begin to imagine.
By then, Zackary will be 24. Maybe he'll be able to guide Jacek a long the road of adolescence. Maybe Zackary will share a lesson learned.
Hopefully Zackary will be happy. Very happy.
I hope it's a page turner every step of the way.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Three Weeks Till Christmas 2009
Wow. Whoah. Wow. This morning Jacek and I counted the rings that are left on his countdown to Christmas red and green chain. 21 rings. I then verified this to be fact by counting the days on the calendar. 21 days, really?
I have yet to write anything about Christmas besides needing a little Christmas spirit and being excited about decorating and making cookies.
My mind has been occupied with getting tasks done rather then enjoying the season yet. I'm hurrying to get to that point. And I'm doing what ever I can to stay ahead of the game. Right now, I'm almost a week ahead of my project schedule.
And, we might be going to hunt down our Christmas tree THIS Sunday instead of next. But, I want there to be snow and right now there is no snow!
To stir up some holiday thoughts in my old noggin. I found these fun questions online.
1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Without a doubt eggnog. I can drink hot chocolate any time of the year but when I see that eggnog carton in the refrigerators at the grocery store come November I immediately think of Christmas, sugar cookies and sipping that calorie ridden but delicious syrup.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Some are wrapped, some are in bags, some are naked. Keeps us guessing.
3. Colored lights or white? Mostly colored lights.
4.Do you hang mistletoe? I got this huge mistletoe ball in a open box at an auction. It's not real but I really like it. I've hung it up two Christmas's now. Darren walks into it more then he stops under it.
5. When do you decorate for Christmas? I'd love to decorate the day after Thanksgiving but I have yet to accomplish this. We normally wait until the 2nd weekend in December to get our tree. I try to have the house all done before we get the tree.
6. Favorite holiday memory as a child? My mother trying to corral us three girls on the staircase for pictures. I remember being so antsy and excited to get down the stairs to see the living room in all it's decorated and present layed glory.
7. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lights go on first. Then the special ornaments followed by the rest of the ornaments and lastly, the Angel.
8. Snow. Love it or hate it? I love snow when it's simple. A Christmas without snow isn't the same. It loses some of it's wonder when it's just gray, wet and muddy.
9. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you? Holiday spirit, family time and making new traditions and memories
10. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Grandma Wheeler's Sugar Cookies...made and decorated with love
11. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Cutting down our Christmas tree.
12. What tops your tree? An angel that Darren has had since around the '80's.
13. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? I love buying, wrapping and giving
14. What is your favorite Christmas song? Rocking Around The Christmas Tree and Santa Baby
15. Candy canes. I'm not a big peppermint fan. I love the new flavors they've been coming out with. Cherry! Yum.
21 days till Christmas 2009. How are you enjoying the season so far?
I have yet to write anything about Christmas besides needing a little Christmas spirit and being excited about decorating and making cookies.
My mind has been occupied with getting tasks done rather then enjoying the season yet. I'm hurrying to get to that point. And I'm doing what ever I can to stay ahead of the game. Right now, I'm almost a week ahead of my project schedule.
And, we might be going to hunt down our Christmas tree THIS Sunday instead of next. But, I want there to be snow and right now there is no snow!
To stir up some holiday thoughts in my old noggin. I found these fun questions online.
1. Eggnog or hot chocolate? Without a doubt eggnog. I can drink hot chocolate any time of the year but when I see that eggnog carton in the refrigerators at the grocery store come November I immediately think of Christmas, sugar cookies and sipping that calorie ridden but delicious syrup.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Some are wrapped, some are in bags, some are naked. Keeps us guessing.
3. Colored lights or white? Mostly colored lights.
4.Do you hang mistletoe? I got this huge mistletoe ball in a open box at an auction. It's not real but I really like it. I've hung it up two Christmas's now. Darren walks into it more then he stops under it.
5. When do you decorate for Christmas? I'd love to decorate the day after Thanksgiving but I have yet to accomplish this. We normally wait until the 2nd weekend in December to get our tree. I try to have the house all done before we get the tree.
6. Favorite holiday memory as a child? My mother trying to corral us three girls on the staircase for pictures. I remember being so antsy and excited to get down the stairs to see the living room in all it's decorated and present layed glory.
7. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Lights go on first. Then the special ornaments followed by the rest of the ornaments and lastly, the Angel.
8. Snow. Love it or hate it? I love snow when it's simple. A Christmas without snow isn't the same. It loses some of it's wonder when it's just gray, wet and muddy.
9. What is the most important thing about the holidays to you? Holiday spirit, family time and making new traditions and memories
10. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Grandma Wheeler's Sugar Cookies...made and decorated with love
11. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Cutting down our Christmas tree.
12. What tops your tree? An angel that Darren has had since around the '80's.
13. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? I love buying, wrapping and giving
14. What is your favorite Christmas song? Rocking Around The Christmas Tree and Santa Baby
15. Candy canes. I'm not a big peppermint fan. I love the new flavors they've been coming out with. Cherry! Yum.
21 days till Christmas 2009. How are you enjoying the season so far?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Dragon Butt
I've been going going going. The last few mornings I've gone through quite a lot of kleenex just trying to unstuff myself after a nights sleep.
Today I woke with a headache. I started taking birth control pills on Monday for the first time in 6 years. I think the headache is from them but maybe it's from me fighting a cold.
Tonight I'm feeling like poo. Headache. Slight sore throat. Minor cough. Exhausted.
I completed the parlor ceiling. Darren just got done installing the pretty medallion and putting the fan back up. The living room has a new color and rug. The dining room has new ceiling tiles and they are painted. I bought paint for the walls in the dining room today. Overzealous.
Not sure if tomorrow is going to find me with enough energy to pop that top off the paint can though.
Jacek and Aidan ate dinner so well tonight. It is not often that Darren and I can eat a whole meal without *reminding* the boys what we're at the table to do. Tonight though I thanked the universe for allowing me to save my voice. My throat is already hoarse enough.
The boys were so tired tonight too. I hope they aren't fighting off a cold. Jacek had a meltdown while I was attempting to get him ready for bed. He went down almost an hour earlier then normal. I'm sure he's in a deep sleep already. Which is great but on nights when he sleeps deeply he normally awakes in a puddle. Let's hope not tonight.
I love the redone living room. It is very zen.
I can not wait to finally get my Christmas decorations out. I need a little Christmas spirit.
Today I woke with a headache. I started taking birth control pills on Monday for the first time in 6 years. I think the headache is from them but maybe it's from me fighting a cold.
Tonight I'm feeling like poo. Headache. Slight sore throat. Minor cough. Exhausted.
I completed the parlor ceiling. Darren just got done installing the pretty medallion and putting the fan back up. The living room has a new color and rug. The dining room has new ceiling tiles and they are painted. I bought paint for the walls in the dining room today. Overzealous.
Not sure if tomorrow is going to find me with enough energy to pop that top off the paint can though.
Jacek and Aidan ate dinner so well tonight. It is not often that Darren and I can eat a whole meal without *reminding* the boys what we're at the table to do. Tonight though I thanked the universe for allowing me to save my voice. My throat is already hoarse enough.
The boys were so tired tonight too. I hope they aren't fighting off a cold. Jacek had a meltdown while I was attempting to get him ready for bed. He went down almost an hour earlier then normal. I'm sure he's in a deep sleep already. Which is great but on nights when he sleeps deeply he normally awakes in a puddle. Let's hope not tonight.
I love the redone living room. It is very zen.
I can not wait to finally get my Christmas decorations out. I need a little Christmas spirit.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Laughing all the way to Santa's Lap
I love the first snow of the season. I love it even more when it doesn't happen until December. And so, waking up on December 1st to snow was wonderful. I went into Jacek's room and snapped up his shade and he took in the view. He has a great view from his window. Both boys do. That makes me happy. Jacek was so excited and asked to go outside and build a snowman. When it was Aidan's turn he was all "whoah", over and over. I hope that like me, that wonder of seeing the first snow never fades. It makes the cold, drab winter landscape come to life the way changing a photo to black and white can sometimes do. Brilliant.
I had the luxury of taking Jacek out by himself tonight. We went to Santa storytime at the library. Conversing with Jacek alone is one of my favorite things. His views on how things work, his questions and his quiet pauses when I wonder what he is thinking about, are things I so look forward to in a moment shared by just us.
Here's a piece of our conversation in the van on the way to the library.
Me: Are you excited to see Santa Claus?
Jacek: Yes. I mean no, I don't like his beard.
Me: Why don't you like his beard?
Jacek: Ooooh look at those lights, wow they have a long fence...those are long lights.
Me: What are you going to ask Santa Claus to bring you for Christmas?
Jacek: A train table. Oh wait, no his sleigh isn't big enough. I'll ask him for something else and Grandma can bring me the train table.
Me: (laughing) Which Grandma? Grandma 4wheeler or Marshmellow?
Jacek: Um, whichever has the biggest car. Doesn't Grandma Marshmellow have a van?
Me: No, I think she has a truck.
Jacek: Oh. Then maybe Mrs. Woodrich can bring it. (Mrs. Woodrich is his teacher and apparently has a van)
When we got to the library he became a recluse. But he had his eyes peeled for any sight of a round bellied, white bearded man in a red suit. He must have asked me 30 times if Santa was there yet. Then we had this conversation.
Jacek: Is Santa here yet?
Me: Maybe. Do you hear him?
Jacek: I think he's late.
Me: Why do you think that?
Jacek: Does he have to wait until Eight, Zero, Zero?
Me: (Rolling on the floor in laughter)
However, as soon as Santa began to speak he became a skeptic. Santa sounded super young. Not quite what Jacek expected I don't think.
Jacek did great sitting through the story but Santa stuttered his way through it.
So the story part of the evening was over lickety-split. On to the "sitting on Santa's lap" fun. Of course, that's after you stand in line for almost an hour waiting for all the other kiddos to do their thing.
(sorry for the sideways video)
He went on to have quite a lengthy conversation with theI don't like his beard or his outfit man dressed in red. Jacek told him he wanted the train table with Thomas and Diesel. And that Diesel has a scooper thingy that gets other trains. He was so himself, the Jacek I know and love and am sooooo super proud of and amazed by.
When Jacek's turn was done he went and sat back in a chair to the side of Santa. He appeared to be waiting.
Me: What are you doing?
Jacek: Waiting.
Me: For what?
Jacek: For Santa to get the train table and Diesel.
Yes folks my son apparently was so brave and sat on Santa's lap only because he thought he was going to get the toys he asked for before we left the library.
That is better then the first snowfall of winter. Way better.
I had the luxury of taking Jacek out by himself tonight. We went to Santa storytime at the library. Conversing with Jacek alone is one of my favorite things. His views on how things work, his questions and his quiet pauses when I wonder what he is thinking about, are things I so look forward to in a moment shared by just us.
Here's a piece of our conversation in the van on the way to the library.
Me: Are you excited to see Santa Claus?
Jacek: Yes. I mean no, I don't like his beard.
Me: Why don't you like his beard?
Jacek: Ooooh look at those lights, wow they have a long fence...those are long lights.
Me: What are you going to ask Santa Claus to bring you for Christmas?
Jacek: A train table. Oh wait, no his sleigh isn't big enough. I'll ask him for something else and Grandma can bring me the train table.
Me: (laughing) Which Grandma? Grandma 4wheeler or Marshmellow?
Jacek: Um, whichever has the biggest car. Doesn't Grandma Marshmellow have a van?
Me: No, I think she has a truck.
Jacek: Oh. Then maybe Mrs. Woodrich can bring it. (Mrs. Woodrich is his teacher and apparently has a van)
When we got to the library he became a recluse. But he had his eyes peeled for any sight of a round bellied, white bearded man in a red suit. He must have asked me 30 times if Santa was there yet. Then we had this conversation.
Jacek: Is Santa here yet?
Me: Maybe. Do you hear him?
Jacek: I think he's late.
Me: Why do you think that?
Jacek: Does he have to wait until Eight, Zero, Zero?
Me: (Rolling on the floor in laughter)
This is Jacek's face when Santa entered the room.
I love the slight smirk and his eyes. He wasn't quite sure what to make of him but he was still totally excited.
However, as soon as Santa began to speak he became a skeptic. Santa sounded super young. Not quite what Jacek expected I don't think.
Jacek did great sitting through the story but Santa stuttered his way through it.
Jacek: Why isn't Santa turning the book so we can all see the pictures?
Me: I don't know buddy.
Jacek: I think maybe he shouldn't read anymore. Is he reading about Snowmen?
Me: I think so.
So the story part of the evening was over lickety-split. On to the "sitting on Santa's lap" fun. Of course, that's after you stand in line for almost an hour waiting for all the other kiddos to do their thing.
We sat. Jacek looked at books. He was very patient. I was growing weary. Thinking that I was wasting my time because certainly my little boy who immediately sticks his fingers in his mouth when approached by a stranger let a lone a man with a beard he didn't like would shy away as soon as it was his turn to sit on Santa's famous lap.
We sat in our chairs and waited for the line to get smaller.
We waited. Jacek looked at more books. Jacek went to the bathroom. Washed his hands.
Then we went and stood in line.
Jacek: I'm gonna tell him I don't like it.
Me: What...his beard?
Jacek: No, his outfit!
Me: (Choking back the laughter) Don't say that. That's not nice. Santa brings you presents, remember?
Jacek: Yeah.
We were 3 kids away from it being our turn. Jacek was becoming nervous.
Me: What are you going to ask for?
Jacek: A train table.
Jacek: I'm NOT sitting on his lap.
Santa was AMAZING!! Check out how he got my son to be comfortable. No fingers in mouth for my son. I was such a proud Mommy.
(sorry for the sideways video)
He went on to have quite a lengthy conversation with the
When Jacek's turn was done he went and sat back in a chair to the side of Santa. He appeared to be waiting.
Me: What are you doing?
Jacek: Waiting.
Me: For what?
Jacek: For Santa to get the train table and Diesel.
Yes folks my son apparently was so brave and sat on Santa's lap only because he thought he was going to get the toys he asked for before we left the library.
That is better then the first snowfall of winter. Way better.
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